the waiting…

hosptial-floor

As of today we have waited almost three months since mom’s last scan… that scan said she was cancer free, yet some of the doctors believed the scan was bad because in their opinion there was no way she could have gone from the original diagnosis to cancer free that quickly. We have been told they aren’t used to these kinds of results (miracles).

I guess, I have to ask myself, I am used to these kinds of miracles? I sat expecting God to do something, asking for healing yet even I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect a clear scan. If I’m honest, I somewhat expect different results this time. My disbelief wonders if the last scan was bad, just like some of the doctors. But the second I utter those words to anyone I either get asked “how could can you think that?” or I get a look that I interpret as “really, Beth, what happened to your faith?” Nothing happened! I am human and as much as I want to run after God with abandon I don’t always. As much faith as I have in God to heal, I thought that healing for mom would be in Heaven.

So, today we wait for new answers…. I wait with a bad cup coffee in the hallway of a busy building because laptops aren’t allowed anywhere else. Mom waits for the radioactive dye to make it’s way through her veins so her cells will take an accurate picture. And many of you wait doing various things along the way. In 24 hours we will know the results… We will know if the last scan was good or bad, we will know if there is cancer or not, we will know what is next.

No one in our culture is used to waiting and this season has proven that, I too, am not fan of waiting at all. However, God teaches so much in the waiting. God has taught me to seek Him, to trust Him, to continually press into Him. God has taught me that I do need people around me who I can tell the crazy and not so crazy thoughts and with who I can share experiences with along this journey. So, today while I wait with an anxious heart, I must accept His peace or I will simply drive myself crazy! I must text, call, and chat with those people who have loved me and walked this journey with me. Therefore, I continually cling to hope that is only found in Christ.

4 thoughts on “the waiting…

  1. Hi BETH: 22 years ago my wife Joanie had a “bad” scan. But itwasn’t bad, it was the Lord giving us a miracle. Her doctors couldn’t explain it, but they advised to keep doing what we were doing. So we did exactly that and kept praying. And we are praying for you & your Mom now. God Bless. Allan Keller

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. Trusting God’s love and faithfulness, whatever the outcome! Easy for me to say because it is not my life or my mom’s life. But I do have that hope of God’s unfailing presence! And I know that Triss has banked her whole life on that promise and security! Love and prayers!

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