Do you remember dates, events, moments? I do and sometimes I think it is a blessing but other times I wish I couldn’t remember certain moments. Birthdays, big decisions, and moments of celebration I love to remember but others just bring tears to my eyes.
In college ministry, Fall is the time that makes or breaks your ministry. It’s the time you only leave campus to shower and nap for the first few weeks. I have wonderful memories of fall kick-offs from the past. I get giddy with the anticipation of freshmen, school supplies, and all the newness that comes with this time of year.
However, this year… I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I’m waiting on the other shoe to drop. The last few Falls have brought a lot to process, especially last year with mom’s cancer. The reality of life is that mom is doing great and has an amazing quality of life! Yet, as one who remembers too much, half the time I want to cry, other times I want to go build some kind of alter to praise the Lord for His amazing supply, other moments I want to run home to be with family, and even other times I just want to pull the covers over my head and forget the real world exists. The emotion of walking through all the anniversaries of this next few months is almost overwhelming.
However, my God is faithful, He is extravagant in His love, grace, faithfulness, and more. I will keep doing ministry, keep preparing for students to arrive, keep praying for my student leaders and the freshmen who are coming. Even when the memories, anniversaries, and emotions become overwhelming I will turn to Lord and allow Him to be my strength and hope.
Maybe I feel too much and too deeply yet that is how He made me! I just keep saying and praying Romans 15:13 and remember my joy, peace, and hope come from Heavenly Daddy, who loves me so!